It’s Unfair !

Today was a lesson in ‘practise what you preach’ for me.   I was feeling a pressured for time.  The last few days it seemed as if I had ‘lost’ a lot of time through no fault of my own … and by this afternoon I had started to get the ‘it’s not fair’ whiney mentality.  This is ironic because yesterday ‘It’s not fair’   was what I chose as the main topic of discussion at the weight loss group I coach.    We agreed that dwelling on ‘It’s not fair some other people can eat what they like and still keep trim’, is often not true and although we would like life to be fair, it actually often isn’t.  Most importantly, dwelling on ‘it’s unfair ‘,is unhelpful to us when it comes to reaching our goals.

  1. It’s often untrue. If we really look at the lifestyle of trim people, we often find they don’t eat lots of high energy food all the time and they may be very active and / or younger than us.  There will be some exceptions to this, but not as many as it appears at first glance.
  2. Life isn’t always fair. Think of  people with serious health problems through no fault of their own, people who are seriously hurt in accidents, victims of crime.  Then think of all the advantages of life you have that many don’t – that’s not fair.
  3. It’s unhelpful.  Dwelling on ‘its’ unfair can lead to us feeling depressed or angry, and these emotions can lead to comfort eating or ‘I don’t care’ eating.

Today when I started to think ‘It’s not fair that my internet has had problems for days, leading me to spend hours trying to get it sorted out, and it’s not fair, that I should catch a virus which put me out of action for 24 hours  just when I have so much I need to do ‘, I suddenly remembered  what we had been discussing regarding ‘ its not fair’ yesterday.   I realised that what applies to weight loss applies to other areas of our lives as well.

Life often isn’t fair. My problems  pale in comparison to others, including someone I spoke to this afternoon who has been unwell for three weeks ( and I am complaining about being unwell for 24 hours ! )

Dwelling on the unfairness of the last few days isn’t helpful to me.  It could lead to me ‘ throwing in the towel’ and not keeping track of my time carefully  … as in ‘ I don’t care … all my planning doesn’t work anyway,  because life is unfair ! ‘  If instead I think,  ‘ oh well, life is unfair at times, stuff happens’  I am more likely to pick myself up and carrying on as best I can.

I will treat myself with compassion because treating ourselves harshly doesn’t help at all.    It has been a little difficult for me the last few days, so it is understandable that I feel some frustration.

I am asking myself some questions you could ask yourself if you start to think  ‘Its unfair’.

  • What is the kindest thing I could do for myself at the present time ?
  • What have I learnt from this situation ?
  • What is the most helpful action I could take right now ?


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